I’m enjoying my retirement (about 4 years into it now), but I am aware that I am an old man, and even if you are good, changes, bad changes do occur. 

I love cooking, and trying new things but I just thought the other day that I could become incapacitated and lose all the wonderful freedom I currently enjoy. Two things: not to be able to cook for myself, and not to be able to get in my car and drive, where I want, when I want.

I got in my car yesterday and headed up toward Dunn, the back roads crossing over the Cape Fear River near Linden, and then instead of heading down to Dunn, I headed up toward Buies Creek and Campbell University. As I got there, Campbell, I drove past the dorm in which I lived in my only year there, 1975, Sauls Hall. Then past the new Student Union, around the traffic circle near the new gymnasium and past the running Camel statue. *I did think of an attractive student who had “smiled at me” shortly before (days) getting a new boyfriend. I went past the old Post Office building, and that sparked the memory of the day, in the Spring, I think, when several of us (in another student’s car) drove down to Fayetteville and went to the new Mall. It was so new that there were still a few businesses completing the construction work before they opened.

The other thought was that every day, at Campbell, I would go to the Post Office looking for a letter from Debbie. We weren’t a couple at the time, but I had such a hard time letting her go in my heart & mind. But on this day when we went to Fayetteville, it was a time where I forgot about my longing for Debbie and enjoyed the activities. We returned home late and I went to bed, and this was the first day in a long time in which I did not make it to the Post Office.

What do you know? Yup! The next morning I went to the Post Office and there was a letter from Debbie.

[ NOTE ]: Another thought was that I used the same Accounting Book (Intro to) at Campbell College as I had used at UNC-Chapel Hill, although my accounting professor at Chapel Hill had helped write the textbook. But, the mental image I just had was that at the end of the year, when I no longer needed the Accounting book, I tried to sell it to the Campbell Book Store. Whatever amount they offered me was so little that instead of selling it to them, I kept it and seems like I was outside, on campus, when I ripped the Accounting book apart.

But, that also reminds me of a little brown Bible that I owned. It had been given to me by Piney Grove Baptist Church as a Senior Graduation present, and because I wasn’t attending church much my Senior Year at Swansboro, the pastor stopped me and said something to the effect, “I think we have something for you.” He went up to the pulpit and the little Bible with my name imprinted on it in gold letters, was laying on a shelf there. He gave it to me. *I think I was near the end of my college life, at UNC-Wilmington, and I found myself standing next to a bookshelf in my bedroom, cleaning out my old books. I took the little brown Bible off the shelf, holding it above a trash can, and thinking whether I should throw it away or not. I said something to myself to the effect, “Well, I don’t believe this stuff, but I might be able to get a quarter for it, if I sell it.” I kept the Bible, and perhaps in six months was reading it, “in the Spirit.”

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I stopped at the Harnett County Library, but the door was locked, and it was about 30 minutes before the listed closing time. I’m guessing it might be because of the holidays.

I then drove over the Cape Fear and went down to the IGA. I was actually looking for some of the canned Smoked Oysters (that I like with my homemade hummus), but didn’t find any. I did note how beautiful the vegetable section was displayed, and mentioned this to a girl who was working in another section. She said she would let the guy in charge of that area know. I did buy a cabbage, and I took several pictures of the veggies.

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One thought was that a lot of joy would go when I am no longer able to drive myself around.

But, another thought came, and that would be when I could no longer cook for myself. And, I guess with the cooking comes the going out and buying all the ingredients. I currently visit about seven or eight different grocery chains/stores a week, and almost every day am going to a couple to pick up things that I specifically buy at that location. IGA, Food Lion, Walmart, Harris Teeter, Pate’s, Publix, Sprouts… and out of town maybe Whole Foods or Wegmans or the State Farmers’ Market in Raleigh, in season. Publix has good bread and also imported lamb (round bone) chops. Sprouts has nuts & dried fruits, selected veggies and Pomegranate juice. Pate’s in season has fresh okra, corn on the cob and sometimes seasoning meats for flavoring beans, etc. I like the Campari Tomatoes, but also get some of the yellow or red grape tomatoes at several stores. 

I don’t know if I will lose my mind or my mobility first, if not both, before I die. But just sitting at home, or in a nursing home, not able to “get out” and galavant, or be able to get up and plan and prepare the daily meals will be extremely disheartening. Galavanting about the country is something that my Aunt Sis (my mother’s sister, Carrie Kellum) instilled the joy of, in me. Through the years, I often would prefer to get in the car and drive around, not necessarily stopping or going anywhere in particular, instead of watching a movie or TV. Although, I do love watching TV & movies.

MyFitnessPal is a web site that I found a little over a month ago, and it is replacing the FitDay site that I use for several years to track my weight, blood glucose readings, and list my meals & foods. FitDay eventually stopped doing its thing and I didn’t find a replacement immediately. But then I found the MyFitnessPal web site, and it had enough of the FitDay elements that I started religiously tracking my food intake again, and weight & Bgl resting levels. And, it’s working! I have lost about 10 lbs. in a little over a month, and my Bgl resting levels have dropped and are now averaging just below 140. This morning was exceptional at 125 but lately they have been in the mid-130s range. *If I can keep them where they are now, I shouldn’t have to go on Insulin, which I have agreed with my PCP Dr. Norem, that I would start taking the shots if she told me to, if I hadn’t brought my A1C down significantly.

But with me tracking my intake, and planning days in advance what I would be eating for each meal, both my weight and Bgl resting levels have begun to dive, downward.

Oh, and I have just started my 4th Harry Bosch (Michael Connelly) novel, “Dark Sacred Night.” I’ve put the books in the basket near my toilet and read a few pages each time I go. I did start to read, “The Wrong Side of Goodbye,” but realized the storyline from having watched the Bosch series on TV, and stopped reading that because I just wasn’t interested in that story again.